1. Student Life Safety
  2. Chapter 10: Student Life Safety

9. Personal Relationships and Dating Trouble

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Everyone sees relationships and romance a little differently, depending on their cultural background and personal values. Just because you feel like things are going well doesn’t always mean the other person feels the same.
Falling for someone and building a close connection can be an amazing experience. But it can also make things complicated. Everyone has their own take on love, and it’s completely normal to want to spend more time with someone or get to know them better. However, pushing your own needs too hard, isolating someone from their friends, or putting up with things that make you uncomfortable, are not signs of a healthy relationship.
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to speak up and say “No”. Consent should always be mutual and obvious, and if the other person doesn’t clearly say Yes through words or actions, then it’s not consent. This is especially important when it comes to sex, which can lead to serious problems if both people aren’t fully on the same page.
The key is to respect yourself and your boundaries, and respect different perspectives and ways of thinking.

Respect One Another

Even if someone’s just a friend, it’s best to avoid being alone together in private spaces like a bedroom. Things can sometimes cross boundaries without clear consent, and that can lead to serious problems.

Stalking

Following someone, waiting around for them, saying you’re watching them, pressuring them to meet or go on a date, making silent calls, or repeatedly messaging them after being asked to stop, are actions that would make anyone feel unsafe. When this kind of behavior persists, it’s considered stalking under the law and may lead to disciplinary action. Never engage in this kind of behavior.

Revenge Porn

Whether a person is a current or former partner, sharing sexually explicit images or videos of them on the internet or threatening to share such content even if you do not actually do so, is considered a form of blackmail under the law. Taking and sharing explicit images of another person is a criminal offense and may lead to disciplinary action. Never engage in this kind of behavior.

Dating Domestic Violence (Dating DV)

Dating DV refers to abuse that happens between people in romantic relationships who aren’t married. It’s not just physical violence, a variety of behaviors constitute as abuse, such as:

  • Physical abuse: Punching, kicking, pushing, slapping, throwing things, holding someone down, pulling hair, etc.
  • Sexual abuse: Pressuring or demanding sex, having sex without clear consent, refusing to use protection, etc.
  • Emotional abuse: Screaming at your partner, demeaning your partner in front of others, breaking or throwing away their things, making threats like “I’ll kill you” or “If we break up, I will kill myself”, etc.
  • Social abuse: Monitoring or preventing your partner from seeing family or friends, checking their emails or phones, demanding replies, etc.
  • Financial abuse: Using your partner’s money without permission, borrowing money and not paying it back, etc.

These behaviors are never acceptable. If anything listed above feels familiar to you, please don’t hesitate to ask for help from the Student Office or one of the following off-campus support systems below.

Student Reception Desk

Student Office (Building B, 1st Floor): 0977-78-1124
apustu1@apu.ac.jp

Off-Campus Support
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